A Hand in Need is A Friend indeed

After the long 1 week holiday of CNY, it is the end of first week work. A lot of email checking and follow of the leftover. Gradually i found my left hand started to relax and my right hand is back to 'working' mode now. Thanks to my dearest left hand, who has been learning, practicing and contributing during my injured right hand's finger. Glory to the hardworking one. I want to say special thanks to this left hand because never before it had ever need to work so hard, and yet i can see little muscle built up because of the absence of the other partner in several weeks.....

I still remember when i was young, i told myself i can live without left hand because i used my right hand most of the time. Ha ha.... this is another little child naive talk. God create the body parts for its purpose, and we can't live without absence of any. God also gives gifts to us, we just never realize how significance and spcial they are to us in our daily lives. Why we always lost first before we realize we ever had it before? Good things are always around us, just that we never open our big round eyes to see, direct our long ears to hear, stretch our gentle hands to grab, step out our strong legs to walk around..... Thanks to God we have 2 eyes, 2 hands, 2 ears, and 2 legs.

Start my Bday with pain killer...

First thing i woke up on this meaningful day - my 1 year old celeb, i looked for painkiller. The morning call on my finger is pricking on me, it is not noisy fussy, but I know is there because I feel it. It is minor sting, seems like yelling across the mountain with echo - light to the least you can hear it. And soonest i know, it is pain killer time. Pain killer don't assasinate the pain, but they are just 'bribing' them - to buy some time off. I suddenly feel like blessing the pills, may the FORCE be with them so that they last long! Because the pain did come back every now and then during the day. This is a test, testing me how to shift my focus on something else then just sit there and tortured by the pricking pain on the bone. But God is gracious, He will not give me a test that i could not bear, and I am sure i can get well over it because His force is with me HA HA HA!!!!

Look out the balcony, beautiful sun, beautiful sky .... I've learnt to give myself a deep breathe in this beautiful morning and i felt the fresh air had traveled through to reach my finger tip to cool it down - This is Mother-Nature-Pain-Savior. It dissolves together with the pain, and I felt great in my mind and my soul and another great day ahead of me. Think further, sometimes in our lives, are we chasing for a pain killer or a pain savior?

Another Finger Story of 09

Yesterday just came back from surgery. When you experience FIRST in your life, there are so much things to learn, and that is just another blessing that is given. Thank God. I was in day care surgery, nowadays, nurses are very professional and considerate. Taking care of things that patient never thought about. Prepare locker to store belongings, extra receptives for contact lens, and even arrange places where anxious husband can wait for their injured but lovely wife :) They are very friendly. I also learnt about GA and LA - General Anesthetic or Local Anesthetic. But at the end doc had given me GA, it is a very fast process, the minute the jab was taken, I felt dizziness when being pushed into OT. A lot of people in OT, i can felt that everybody is doing something in some part of my body - very well organized. yet the last thing i know is that i was inhaling on oxigen mask, and my hand was spread out to the side.....After a while i thought i dreamt, and i felt difficulty in breathing, and i can open my eyes. A voice from the side saying, "it is well done, it is over" For a moment i thought i would died of suffocation because hard to breathe, bu later found out bandage of my hand and was placed nicely on my stomach - the surgery is over! My goodness! I felt just a moment in time only! I suffered heavy blow of headache when opened my eyes, heard my doc was talking and laughing with some other nurses, to clear my eye sight, i found myself already outside of OT. I am speechless, because everything was just too fast. I quickly recouped my memory, and found myself blank but only the last moment inside OT.
I thanked God because I managed to wake up, at least the anesthetic didn't lie to me.Haha...
Back to the day care area, suffered from nausea and really was seen pale on my face. Nurse asked me to take a nap. When I woke up found my belongings with me by the bed side - at least can check waht time is it now. It is already 446pm. Quickly wake up and there are things that i scheduled to do but not managed to get done now. Suddenly i noticed my 1st 3 fingers are blue black in color. Shocked, but noticed by a nurse. In a minute or two, the whole nurse team, about 7 of them are beside my bed discussing about my hand. The truth is the bandaged was too tight and causing the swollen and blue black in color. After consulting the doc, they rebandaged my wound. Good of them because they have this kind of knowledge. After 15 minutes, i said goodbye to the team and went back home with unmovable ring finger!
Thank God everything went so well!

Enchondroma

One of blog in year 2007 mentioned about hurting my finger while playing golf in a company event(See Finger Story in year 2007 archive). Never thought that the injury can cause another discovery of my body. After suffering the on and off pain for several months, pricking like a signal to remind me not to ignore it, I decided to go through the medical examination. Before that I had tried Chinese Tittar to get my finger rubbed and bandaged with herb. I thought that is just early stage arthritis problem to show my aging (that is sad...). Being a modern scholar, I also tried to take glucosamine sulfate. After a month none of the 'self-researching' method worked out for me, I decided to trust in the Lord to lead me to good doctor to remove this little pain in my life. After going through GP and took x-ray, i found a big new medical word to me - ENCHONDROMA. In my whole life, I have no any major issue that will relate me to specialist, today was the first time i stepped into a medical specialist, the first time to meet an orthopedic, the first to have x-ray that suggest surgery treatment. Enchondroma. A buzz word that had given me a lot of FIRST TIME in my life. After numerous of Q&A with the doctor, it was found that
1. it is benign tumor in a bone, normally found in hands or legs
2. rare case, 1 out of 100,000 people will get this
3. Average only 1 patient a year for Orthopedic in Malaysia will have this case
4. There is no syptoms to discover, most likely a coincidence through x-ray (To me, there is no coincidence but a God revelation to me to get right treatment)
5. Expansile type will cause thinning to the outer bone
Although rare case, it is considered minor surgery with more than 99% of success rate by bone grafting. Next week I will experience the First surgery in my life, which is only 30 mins in day care surgery room :) and thank God it is not major operation. Furthermore, I am 1 out of 100,000 hahahaha....

Kissed by Mr Sun on 1st Sept 2008 ... Nice!!

On Merdeka weekend, group of 8 of us just hiked to the highest to of SEA mountain - Mount Kinabalu at 4097m above the sea level. Being on the top of that mountain, I am so proud of being Malayian and holding the flag to celebrate this 51st Independence day. There were a lot of inspirations during this trips. Bits by bits, and there were all so wonderful!!

While I was walking i was so much into the stairs. Step by step that was so careful and so concentrate, afraid of any false steps that would make me fall. The fear of falling down and the fear of getting lost were there, undeniable.However, is it not that it reflected our true life? I asked to train myself to be brave for every steps that I keen to take. I also learnt to have 1 step at a time, and make it steady, and it forward patiently. It was inspired when I was so tired and having sore knees while walking for more than 5km during the journey. Sometimes we want to forward, but i found that having 2 knees in same step at a time is even more tiring than having 1 step and 1 leg at a time, having one in front and one at the back. This is the way to progress.

During the journey i found that resting is very important to prolong the energy for the whole journey. At the same time it also allows laziness to creep in. We rest because we need to walk long, but when we rest too long, it caused our body to slow down. It becomes harder to resume the heart rate. In our life we always give reasons to ourselves for not doing things that seems difficult and consumes a lot of energy. As mother nature says so, and that is built-in characteristics for human beings. Laziness creept it undoubtly. Lazy to think, to act, to run an extra mile. Therefore, keep up is always the word i reminded myself during the journey. Even i slowed down, but i keep it up.

Thank God, these are all wonderful revelation and learnings in this journey.

Story of a drowning kitten

Can you imagine how you would feel... a drowning kitten who struggle so hard for its life, trying to use the powerless jaws on front legs, squeeced as much as possible on the forehead, trying to give all its strength to climb up the side walls of a drain... she was hysterical, breath unsteadily, felt like the whole world is left behind, can't hear or see anything but her focus on breathing non stop. The oxygen can never be enough for the little nose and vein to get the blood stream down, it can never get enough to inhale suficiently... afraid there is not even enough strength to have the heart pumping, the beat is just too fast to catch up forever... this is the time one could wish to have a different system to survive, an alternative other than the heartbeat. She was saved, yet she was shaking heavily. she can't walk but just lied down restlessly. How much she thought she can just stay on the green grass for another one minute. But she was alerted, and she knows she can't, she has to continue the fight.... don't fall sleep, because sleep will never come awake to see the world. So she bearly survived. Struggled again to wake up to see the first light shined through her eyes. She know her destiny and time to wake up. Without delay, she was on the move, one step another, dragging along the weaken body. Just hope this is another day that nobody will see her suffering through. There is no reason to earn pity from another eyes. So she walked straight and see straight, heading the way back home. Imagine of a nice warm house just on the other end of the road, there is no hesitation but dragging along. Soon she know she will be home...

This story dedicated to a special friend who had been through the suffering just like the drowning kitten in his life. So sudden yet no preparation. How many of us can get through? I always felt for people who can describe, because to anybody else the situation is indescribable if not experiencing every bit of it. I believe every beating of his heart is precious and every laughter is wonderful to him and for him...Just hope he can get through the suffering. In God, we trust.

Creating a Memory

Today i have attended a forum. There is this story that shared by a brother regarding "creating a memory":

Ken Blancard – One minute manager shared a story about a business consultant in grocery chain training more than 3,000 employees to approach their jobs with the goal of creating a memory for their customers; to distinguish their store from all the others
When Johnny, a 19 year old bag boy with Down syndrome heard this, his first response was “I’m just a bag boy” – He went home to share with his mom what the consultant had said
Johnny and mom pondered how he could create a memory for his customer
He had a habit of collecting inspirational sayings he often read; decided to print out these sayings and placing one in each of his customers’ bag and say “I’ve included some of my favorite sayings in your bag in the hope they will encourage you today. Thanks for shopping with us.”
After a few weeks, an amazing thing happened. One day the store manager noticed all the customers was lined up at only one cashier station even though there were other stations open. Manager panicked, thinking other stations were broken. Actually, customers wanted to come through Johnny’s line in order to get his sayings of the day!
One woman told the manager, “I used to comes to the store once a week, but now I come every day!” Johnny’s exa,ple spread to other departments in the store – florist giving a flower to each florist customer, meat department put Snoopy stickers on each meet with special greeting – The act of one bag boy changed the entire climate of the store
Like Johnny, Jesus was all about creating memories. How can you create a memory for someone in your workplace today?


Just over at lunch, a friend of mine, who just diagnosed with a kind of heart disease telling me this - "I don't know what to give you in return, what I could give you is visible, but do you know that what you given to me is invisible?" this message has been pondering in my mind for the rest of this afternoon. I am surprised to hear this from this friend. He showed me what is appreciation, just a simple sentence that actually reminds of me that when is the last time i show my appreciation to the loved ones?

Creating a memory - i actually didn't realize how much i have been creating a memory in his life. It is just a normal friendship thing. However, when he was diagnosed with that sickness, i had been encouraging him with God's words and just hope that he will always live his life to the fullest. He ever told me that there is no one around him that actually said this kind of things to him. It all looks new to him and unique. I believe in God's work, and maybe that is the purpose why i met him and why we can get along well. Although his length of life is so much unpredictable, but I just give thanks to God and continue to pray for his strength...

Being the GROWN up now

Today i am getting older, by age, .... yeah....

Not trying to sound sad, but got into some arguments with colleagues on some work issues recently and really found a big reap - not in age for today, but in the mind. It is all about learning to work with people, like what WO always tell me all these dragons that he learnt in his "dealing with difficult people" Dragon is all about hard core of a person's character, which is also a protective shield that a person put on to uphold the behavior. When the dragon of a person is exposed, it is easily identified. Yet when our own dragon exposed, that is the hardest and most difficult to deal with. Yes, a lot of time we see people's dragon but not ours. With the new grown by age and by this new year, whatever resolution it is, i have set my goals.
1) be peaceful, especially when argument arrives. I found 99% of time we will have no solutions when emotion is involved
2) be the one to back off during the 'hot' argument will appreciate and gain more credibility after the argument ( i got to learn about this)
3) Learn to have self-control (I am not young anymore, should not be so problematic onwards, right)
4) State positive sentences upfront before negative if had to ( i think i am the one who always straight to the point and that is why i never think much about 'beautify' my sentences before blurt out from my mouth)

Growth lesson never ends, but at least we are improving ourselves little by little in faith... Thank God who has given me the discernment!

Complaint vs Comment

It had been quite a while that i didn't come back for this blog. What a lazy blogger i am. Dec 2007 marked a very very important month for my life journey. Being newly wed, I got so much to do and so tensions about welcoming this new life. Although it seems normal to him, but to me, Gosh, that is just full of things to adjust myself!

We had been discussing about Complaints vs Comments. To me by definitions, if somebody given me a "comment" it means what i do or say can be improve to better. When somebody given me a "complaint" means what i have done or said is wrong or negatively impact another. To me, complaint followed by comment is best to build a person's characteristics. Being newly wed, one of the biggest complaint that he alwasy said to me is that i got a lot of complaints. Complaints about life, work, friendship, and even our relationship... i sometimes also realized that i do make complaints, but i also comments. And important thing is not to mix the 2. I found it frustrated when these 2 are mixed and i was pre judged. i found it difficult to deal with if another pre judged you with some biased opinion. Given it is at work or at home or when you deal with your friendships stuff. Noises are being filtered, and more than 70% only what we want to hear will pass through the brain. I am upset, because my so called 'noises' probably didn't pass through at all. Disappointment & no responses created more complaints and comments.

Learning - 1) Clarify if you are making a complaint or a comment. If there is nothing wrong with the current situation, you make comment only to hope for improvement, which may not guaranteed to satisfy your need. In this case, you have the live with it or walk away with it. 2) make complaint if there is direct and great impact on you physically or emotionally, it can be grievance, but later make sure you add a comment of how to make it improve.

9 words of women

Nine words women use...

1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are Right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more Minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, And you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing Usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever : Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.

Resistance to change

Recently i have upgraded my laptop software to office 2007. It is kind of new thing to me, cos i felt like i need to re- learn office. The layout is totally different and that is what called "ribbon setting" haha.... i see the reason why the design is being 'improved' to become ribbons --> less clicking --> more efficient. But i still see people resist to change. Some of my friends don't even bother to take a look at it just because of the new face lift is too 'shiny' on them and difficult for the to adapt, etc. Anyhow, i see this as normal. When it comes to things that totally change the usual perception, 1st reaction is always back off first -> wait and see. But i think MS is pretty smart about this. And could be the reason why they changed the format to .xlsx to signify the version. In fact this will eventually impact everybody who use MS office ; as more and more people is using the offie 2007, it creates the demand to change because the file will no longer be compatible to other version. Currently for compatibility reason, i always save my files to 2003 version, however when more and more people start using 2007 version, saving the file to 2003 becomes inefficient in work place and the people start to shift for upgrading to office 2007 .... MS really have a smart move to shift people towards efficiency by less clicking yet forcing people to change another way round!

I am still around...

It has been such a long time, i left this blog.... real busy and big change in my life for the past few months... Nevertheless, it is time back on track start again my blogging.

For the past few months i am so overwhelmed with everything that you would have experience in whole year. It looks like i am trying to rush up everything before the end of the year, but i actually i am not and not intentionally.

Anyhow, i need to reboot this blog. Again, this blog will focus on my personal thought every morning, and to share with all my friends...

Lossing wisdom

Last week, I went to extract one of my wisdom teeth. The operation take about half an hour but the experience last forever! The wisdom teeth sat at lower right jaw and so difficult to pull out that the doc has to section the tooth into 3. It is really a big 'construction' to go through, and although numb, can still feel the pressure of pulling. Bye bye my wisdom... tooth! That's what friends of mine has been telling me, i am down with 1 wisdom. hahah......

Thank God that the operation went very well, i don't have much pain after that. I stick to my normal diet, no porridge, just to chew them into very small for every bite of food. It is a week now, and will remove the stiches this coming Thursday. Again, friend, if you are going to dentist to do removal of wisdom teeth, my advise is that "RELAX" and leave the work to doctor. THey will do the best for you!

Freedom of Speech

Normally i don't buy newspaper. But i did last saturday nite and found out there were news about this talented Chinese who 'modify' the songs of our national Anthem. To avoid harrassment and troublesome brought towards him and his family, his father actually requested him to apologise in public. I don't know why this has come into newspaper, but don't we wide aware that internet is a WORLD WIDE WEB and that is where the freedom came from? To me, freedom of speech belongs to Americans - i think they have maximum capacity for freedom of speech. To us in this country, doubt arised. Afterall, we had to recognised that we are 'limited edition'. I left a comment in namewee's blog (the author of that song). For him to get the space for all his talent, stay where he is. As soon as he comes back, the space became limited and even 'prohibited'. I always uphold 'no complaints no improvement' - to an individual, a company, and even a country; listen to all the complaints and not avoiding all the complaints. Why Japanese is so good and so confidence today in making cars? They treat complaints preciously and seriously. Good complaint helps to grow and not to destroy.

I felt sad for those who are talented yet not to be seen and found. How many are there that still suppressed by the evil?

Looking for surviving skill

Recently has been in touch some long lost friends and seems everybody is so much enjoy being in corporate world because of all the freebies and all the benefits inherit in the corporate culture. The good always folded with bad thing. The things i always see through is when you got all the luxury, be appreciative; when you don't have all the luxury, then you work harder to earn it. I have been in small company most of my career life except now. So to me, everything looks luxury, even to search for a humble heart is a challenge. Agreed by my circle of friends. We started to see the neccesity of surviving skill in a corporate world. Mean to say, reality is we got to shield ourselves whenever and whereever. Shield is for protection, not for pretention. I always forgot to put on my shield for protection. I am the kind of person that tend to forgive and forget. And therefore i started to think if i was left behind in this corporate world. A layman that know nothing but try to earn the credit by hardwork. How much is it to be done? HOw much is it that not done yet?

By character, i think i fit well into the corp. By way of getting things done, i think i need more kick start as is totally different models of mechanism to learn by. For my friends who are like me in this corporate world, are so well trained already to fit in with aspect of capability. Surviving skill is indivualistic, and should be discovered by personality and mentality. A person with more of observance may have a better structure of surviving skill than a person who just work to earn more.

My favorite blog

This is my favorite blog which i surfed everyday. The author is creative and enthusiastic about the life and the humor of life.

http://bentobjects.blogspot.com/

Finger story

Last weekend we had our division teambuilding in Lumut. It was a sunny day, real hot and we were running around that get the Quests done. Unfortunately i hurt my 4th finger tendon during one of the activity. That activity required a bunker shot which to hit the golf ball out of sand area. Although this type of golfing is always practiced at driving range, but at that moment i felt the pain in on my finger. I got my nerve out of it on one of the hits! Gosh, my finger was shaking because of nerve losing, and i still have 3 balls to go. With lip tight and hand stabled, i finished all the hits and scored 7 out of 10. I am satisfied with the result but not can't justified the pain from my finger. At that moment i felt bone fracture on my right fourth finger. The experience was painstaking! For the rest of evening and next day my activity level dropped a little due to the inconvenience of my finger. The pain escalated to the point where it pricked on me just to open my hotel door. I got problem with taking shower as well, packing my luggage as well.... everything just to be slow moving......

That nite was a nite mare. I got no oilment to apply but just apply some soothing balm to relieve it. I could not sleep well, woke up in the middle of nite and read my bible. I prayed so hard that God will heal my finger and don't let it broken. I went to bed after finish 1 chapter in James, and still praying hard for healing and for peaceful sleep. In the middle of nite, this was where the pressure came. I can't differentiate the reality or dreaming, but i know i saw something clearly in front of my eye - a furiated lady with wide opened eyes, stared at me without blinking. I was histerical, and i sat down on my bed trying to clear my mind. I keep the verse which i just memorize 1 John 4:4 - Greater is the one in my heart than the one in the world.....Thank God! the tension was relieved - both from my injured finger and also from my mind and surrounding.....

After came back to hometown i visited a clinic and the doctor look at it just like small matter. I told him my finger cannot be straightened, and without a warning, he grabbed my hand and 'straightened' it for me. I screamed out loud. Out of my expectation, this doctor said no bone fracture (without examine the condition or x-ray) and he gave me oilment and pain killer and said i am done! With all the doubts in my head, i just trust he is good doctor and a no-liar. If the condition doesn't improve for the next 3 days i should go for x-ray...

Up to today, my finger is a lot better and recovering at amazing speed! Although still feel the prick on nerve while typing now, it is definitely improved then last weekend!!!

Lessons to learn:
1. Trust has to be simple and child-like --> and i prayed hard for God's healing
2. always remember 1 John 4:4 whenever you encouter spiritual warfare or uneasy surrounding
3. Trust God to bring peace in your heart

Wrong lane for a shortcut

I was queueing up for traffic light while approaching my office. The farthest left lane is for left turning only. There was this car who just stop at the line when the light turning into red. I was right behind this car so i soft honk to signal him to turn to the left. At the moment i saw him glanced at me from his back side mirror, and ignored me. I figured he probably wanted to go straight direction and not knowing this is left-turning only lane.I flashed him with lights for couple times again and hoping he is not blocking the traffic behind by turning left. And he ignored again, and from his back side mirror i saw his expression on the mirror as if I am one of the road-buster. His face showed annoyance. At that moment i felt the urge to get down the car and tell him don't ever give this kind of look when he is on the wrong lane for a shortcut in a queue! I am a bit frustrated. He looks 40+ years old guy and i suppose he already had the driving license more than 20 years. Can't he even read the sign or follow the arrow on the road correctly?

I can understand people trying to cut queue or shortcut always for a reason. And i did the same sometimes. But cutting queue at the expense of blocking of traffic is a no-no case. People need to understand when you are trying to do things in a different way, one should not bring the impact on others. The public should not bear the cost of when you try to do things differently. In this case, i really want the guy to know that his annoyance is offensive and not respecting other road users.

But at the end , i didnot get down the car. Just wait till the green light and the car go straight and i turned left. I told myself that God forgives me and so I forgive him also.

James 1:19-20 "...Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."

What Element is your Love?

Your Love Element Is Wood

In love, you tend to gently dominate and guide your partner. For you, love is all about sharing goals and future plans. You attract others with creativity and vision. Your flirting style is defined by your honesty and assertiveness. Growth and improvement are the cornerstones of your love life. You may focus on goals too much in relationships, but you never come out of them with a loss. You connect best with: Water Avoid: Metal You and another Wood element: will be doomed to a stormy relationship

What Element Is Your Love?

Volunteers

I took on a volunteer project that subsidized by our company. This is very interesting social responsibility project that we have over 100 students around 11 to 16 years old come joined in the project. We'd raised a lot of awareness on environmental issues - pollutions, damage of ecosystems, environmental protection, etc. What a great ideas to have this awareness created to kids who are growing up to understand about the environment. I found a great passion to be one of the volunteers in. Being a help to the students during their powerpoint presentation, their questions to answers, or even games to play with. They are pure and fascinating and cute!!! I have learnt not only how to communicate with children, and also the responsibilities about being a volunteer. So much to say about attitude of volunteer, which i probably will reiterate in my next post, I find the whole trip is just full of life learning opportunities. Given the pure heart of child, you never know what kind of questions that they will ask, and when they asked, you will be surprised what kind of thought is inside the little brain. Everytime i talked to the kid, it just reminded me that i used to be at their age. And i started to scratch my head of what i was thinking at that time compared to them now. Gosh! what an experience to be in this activity! The project will last longer as the students will be grouped to carry out the project again on 2 more phases. I can't wait to see the outcome which is expected to be by end of this year.