Today i am getting older, by age, .... yeah....
Not trying to sound sad, but got into some arguments with colleagues on some work issues recently and really found a big reap - not in age for today, but in the mind. It is all about learning to work with people, like what WO always tell me all these dragons that he learnt in his "dealing with difficult people" Dragon is all about hard core of a person's character, which is also a protective shield that a person put on to uphold the behavior. When the dragon of a person is exposed, it is easily identified. Yet when our own dragon exposed, that is the hardest and most difficult to deal with. Yes, a lot of time we see people's dragon but not ours. With the new grown by age and by this new year, whatever resolution it is, i have set my goals.
1) be peaceful, especially when argument arrives. I found 99% of time we will have no solutions when emotion is involved
2) be the one to back off during the 'hot' argument will appreciate and gain more credibility after the argument ( i got to learn about this)
3) Learn to have self-control (I am not young anymore, should not be so problematic onwards, right)
4) State positive sentences upfront before negative if had to ( i think i am the one who always straight to the point and that is why i never think much about 'beautify' my sentences before blurt out from my mouth)
Growth lesson never ends, but at least we are improving ourselves little by little in faith... Thank God who has given me the discernment!
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Complaint vs Comment
It had been quite a while that i didn't come back for this blog. What a lazy blogger i am. Dec 2007 marked a very very important month for my life journey. Being newly wed, I got so much to do and so tensions about welcoming this new life. Although it seems normal to him, but to me, Gosh, that is just full of things to adjust myself!
We had been discussing about Complaints vs Comments. To me by definitions, if somebody given me a "comment" it means what i do or say can be improve to better. When somebody given me a "complaint" means what i have done or said is wrong or negatively impact another. To me, complaint followed by comment is best to build a person's characteristics. Being newly wed, one of the biggest complaint that he alwasy said to me is that i got a lot of complaints. Complaints about life, work, friendship, and even our relationship... i sometimes also realized that i do make complaints, but i also comments. And important thing is not to mix the 2. I found it frustrated when these 2 are mixed and i was pre judged. i found it difficult to deal with if another pre judged you with some biased opinion. Given it is at work or at home or when you deal with your friendships stuff. Noises are being filtered, and more than 70% only what we want to hear will pass through the brain. I am upset, because my so called 'noises' probably didn't pass through at all. Disappointment & no responses created more complaints and comments.
Learning - 1) Clarify if you are making a complaint or a comment. If there is nothing wrong with the current situation, you make comment only to hope for improvement, which may not guaranteed to satisfy your need. In this case, you have the live with it or walk away with it. 2) make complaint if there is direct and great impact on you physically or emotionally, it can be grievance, but later make sure you add a comment of how to make it improve.
We had been discussing about Complaints vs Comments. To me by definitions, if somebody given me a "comment" it means what i do or say can be improve to better. When somebody given me a "complaint" means what i have done or said is wrong or negatively impact another. To me, complaint followed by comment is best to build a person's characteristics. Being newly wed, one of the biggest complaint that he alwasy said to me is that i got a lot of complaints. Complaints about life, work, friendship, and even our relationship... i sometimes also realized that i do make complaints, but i also comments. And important thing is not to mix the 2. I found it frustrated when these 2 are mixed and i was pre judged. i found it difficult to deal with if another pre judged you with some biased opinion. Given it is at work or at home or when you deal with your friendships stuff. Noises are being filtered, and more than 70% only what we want to hear will pass through the brain. I am upset, because my so called 'noises' probably didn't pass through at all. Disappointment & no responses created more complaints and comments.
Learning - 1) Clarify if you are making a complaint or a comment. If there is nothing wrong with the current situation, you make comment only to hope for improvement, which may not guaranteed to satisfy your need. In this case, you have the live with it or walk away with it. 2) make complaint if there is direct and great impact on you physically or emotionally, it can be grievance, but later make sure you add a comment of how to make it improve.
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